Angel of chaos
by Silverkitsune3
Summary: Relinquish your pain...unto me. Those famous words spoken between a selfsacrificing android and a tormented angel. Now that the battle is over, what will the future hold for these two selfless beings? Completed.
1. Curious Andriod

A fic dedicated to my favorite character in Xenosaga, the mysterious chaos.

Angel of chaos

He was watching them.

Nothing unusual in itself, KOS-MOS reflected. The quiet, silver haired boy was always watching them, standing ever apart from the rest of the group, yet always there to lend his comfort, advice, and support. He never was biased about who he talked to. She had observed him discussing battle stradegies with Jr., giving Allen words of encouragement in relation to Shion, and placing a comforting arm around MOMO's shoulders when she was afraid. He really didn't have to say anything; just his presence was usually enough to lower the group's stress and admorphine levels, something KOS-MOS had witnessed time and again. One word or touch from the being known as chaos, and the recipient was calmed immedietely.

She wondered what it was about chaos that people reacted to.

She wondered what it would be like if he focused his sole attention on her.

KOS-MOS blinked, frowning slightly at the confusing information. Why was she thinking like this? It was not related to the current situation, there was no relevance to this train of thought at all. Perhaps her system was malfunctioning. She had been thinking a lot about chaos of late; maybe there was a glitch in her system, a memory loop that was blocking her thought process She would have to ask Shion to check her system for abnormalities when they returned to the Kukai foundation. In the meantime, her thoughts returned to chaos.

He was standing by the window of the Elsa, alone as usual, gazing up at the passing stars. Since the last battle, he had been even more withdrawn and quiet than usual, and she could tell something was bothering him. But he never complained. For all his assistance and help to everyone he met, chaos never offered anything about himself. The rest of the crew were too wrapped up in their own private fears and trauma to notice, or care, but KOS-MOS had been wondering what secrets chaos held for awhile now.

She wanted to ask him. She had known he was special from the moment they met. At first, she had thought it was an error in her playback records, seeing the mysterious, silver-haired boy simply appear in front of the doors of the Elsa. She quickly discovered the truth; that chaos was not only different, he wasn't even human, and his powers were something even she was impressed by. And then, of course, there was that day on the Elsa, when she had met chaos in the hanger of the ship, and those fateful words had passed between them...

_"Relinquish your pain...unto me."_

Those words resonated within her head, taunting her, never leaving her alone. But, she would never take them back. She meant every one of them, even now. chaos' pain called out to her; the agony he never let anyone see was like a beacon to her senses. After the Elsa was saved and she was safely inside the ship again, the boy placed one hand briefly on her shoulder, and something seemed to awake within her breast. When she was around him she felt...she didn't have a name for these odd sensations yet. But, one thing was clear; when she was with chaos, she could _feel._

And she wondered if he felt that way towards her.

Abruptly, chaos pushed himself away from the window, walking toward the bridge doors. He paused a moment to speak quietly with Captain Matthews, smiled at something Hammer told him, and continued on his way. As he approached, their eyes met, and KOS-MOS felt momentarily dizzy, though it never showed on her face. chaos gave her a brief, somewhat sad smile, and left the room, and the bridge seemed all the more darker with his absence.

_Go after him._

That was the only thing on her mind as she turned and walked deliberately out the doors. No one stopped her or asked what she was doing; if they did, she probably would have told them something technical and boring, such as recharging her systems or checking the computer for irregularties. To the majority of the humans aboard this ship, she was just a machine; a robot with no spark of human life or compassion. Only two people suspected, or knew, otherwise. Shion Uzuki, her creator...

...and the young man walking down the hall in front of her.

chaos stopped suddenly, and turned at her approach. For a moment, KOS-MOS thought of walking past him, continuing down the hall as if that had been her intent all along. But, the young man's knowing blue eyes sought hers, and she knew he knew she was following him.

"KOS-MOS," he greeted in his soft, deep voice. "Is something wrong?"

"I...wish to ask you a question," the android said. "My systems may be malfunctioning, and I wish to make sure they are not permanently damaged." chaos didn't answer, only slightly raised his eyebrows to show he was listening, waiting silently for her to continue.

"When I am in your vicinity," she began, "I have noticed my systems malfuntion more than usual, and my memory keeps returning to your presesce. I was wondering if perhaps you are discharging some electromagnetic pulse without realizing it. Since this only happens when you are within my visual range, I request that you check yourself into the infirmery for any abnormalities you may not be aware of." Harsh, cold words. The words of an android, a machine. She wished she knew how to say it differently.

chaos blinked. "I see," he murmured, and KOS-MOS detected a slight change to his voice. Worried. Saddened. Strangely guilty, though she couldn't imagine what he would feel guilty about. "I'm afraid it's more complicated than that, KOS-MOS, but I'll check myself in, if you insist." He smiled, but it was an empty smile, as his crystalline eyes showed the pain behind it. "Was that all you wanted me for?"

"Negative. I..." What did she want? She searched her database and finally came up with an answer, what she wanted more than anything. "I want you to be happy, chaos. I wish for you to end this pain you are feeling."

chaos closed his eyes. "It's not that easy," he whispered. KOS-MOS stepped closer.

"Then, relinquish it to me. Let me bear it for you. I will share this burden, for however long it takes."

"You don't understand what you're asking."

KOS-MOS took another step. They were very close now, and there was a strange, drumming sound in the upper region of her chest. "Then show me."

The young man opened his eyes and gazed at her. For a moment, there was only the two of them, frozen in time in the dimly lit hallways of the Elsa.

chaos raised a gloved hand and touched the back of it to KOS-MOS' cheek, a brief, feather light touch.

"Be happy," he whispered, and slipped away. KOS-MOS watched him glide down the hall and turn the corner, out of sight. Even after he was gone, the strange pounding in her chest refused to fade.

Raising her fingers to her cheek, she could still feel the lingering traces of his warmth.

to be continued...?

My first Xenosaga ficcie, so be gentle. I actually don't play the game, but I've watched my friend play it often enough to know I am hopelessly in love with chaos. He seems sadder, more melancholic in the second episode, the true stoic I think they meant for him to be. Anyway, R&R if you have the time. I want to know if I'm the only hopeless romantic out there. Arigato!

Silverkitsune


	2. Tormented angel

Angel of chaos

Chapter two

The door hissed as chaos ducked into the small, dark interior of his room, leaned against the wall, and sighed.

"I'm sorry, KOS-MOS," he murmured. "I wish I could give you the answers you're looking for, but you're not ready for them. Not yet. Forgive me."

The room was dark, but the silver haired boy didn't turn on the lights as he moved from the wall to the window on the opposite side, placing a gloved hand against the glass. He liked the dark. It was always more comforting in the shadows, away from the light and action. It suited his quiet, aloof nature, and gave him a place to observe without intruding or being seen. Though he suspected that would change fairly soon.

There was a shimmer out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't turn around. In the polished surface of the glass, he could see her reflection perfectly.

"So," came the haunting voice of Nephilim. "You have decided."

chaos gave the reflection a single nod. "Yes. From this point on, I won't be holding back. I will use all my power to change the destiny fate has decided for them." He laid his forehead against the window and closed his eyes. "I will protect them," he promised, almost to himself. "I won't let anyone die." _Especially her._

Nephilim blinked enormous blue eyes and put her small arms behind her back. "We were supposed to observe," she said gently. "We were supposed to remain neutral in this fight.

"I can't do that anymore."

"You've gotten attached." The girl's voice was soft, but hinted at disapproval.

"Yes," chaos replied calmly.

She was silent a moment. Then: "The balance of power has shifted." Though her voice was quiet, there was an ominous warning beneath. "I can no longer see a definite future. Be careful that your sentiment is not the ripple that overturns the ship."

chaos had no answer for her, but it didn't matter. She was already gone.

* * *

He didn't sleep at all that night, but lay awake on his simple cot, hands cradled behind his head, thinking. The next morning, tired and feeling a mite pensive, he made his way to the kitchen for some coffee. MOMO was there, talking with Ziggy near the window, and Shion was at a table reading a data pad, a steaming mug of said liquid perched precariously on the edge.

chaos poured himself a mug and took a sip, wincing as the horribly strong concoction made his eyes water. _Must've been Tony's turn to make coffee_, he mused, taking a seat opposite Shion, a resigned grin quirking his mouth. In all his time aboard the Elsa, the only days there was a drinkable pot of coffee in the kitchen were the mornings he did it himself.

Still, it was coffee, and it was strong, something he needed on this particular morning. He drank the hot engine oil without complaint and cocked his head at the woman sitting across from him. "Good morning," he offered to the top of her head.

She jerked upright, green eyes going wide, the datapad dropping from her fingers. chaos swiftly caught it before it hit the table and the coffee mug sitting untouched on the corner.

"Oh, chaos! Good morning. You startled me; I didn't see you sit down." Faintly embarrassed, she glanced at the datapad in his hands and blushed. "Um, thank you."

He gave her a cheerful smile and handed it back. "What are you working on?"

"Oh, this? Well, KOS-MOS asked me to run a complete scan of her systems the other night. Actually, _insisted_ is a better word." Shion frowned momentarily, but shook it off with a wry smile. "She seemed positive her memory base was malfunctioning, but everything is running perfectly from what I can see."

"That's good to hear. Where is she now?"

"Recharging, at the moment. The fight with the patriarch took more out of her than we first thought."

chaos nodded. The fight with the patriarch had been hard on all of them. His own powers had been stretched to the limit, trying to shield his comrades from the worst of the man's attacks. The unholy energy coursing through that man's body was both frightening and disturbing.

Are you all right, chaos?"

He blinked, arching an eyebrow at the abrupt question. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, well…" Shion shrugged, embarrassed again. "I just realized that out of all our friends, I know the very least about you. I mean, I know why Jr. and MOMO and Ziggy are tangled up in this. I can't say the same for Jin, but he's family and I've never understood him anyway." She rolled her eyes, and chaos chuckled, wondering if Jin had ever told his sister they had met long before she ever became involved with Vector, the zohar, and the whole situation.

"But you," she continued, looking him straight in the eye, "Why are you here, chaos? You've never explained that. Jr. and the rest of the crew hold you in high regard, but none of _them_ know why you're here, either."

chaos laughed softly. "And it's taken this long to realize this?" he asked, not unkindly. Shion blushed an even deeper shade of crimson, and he rose, shaking his head. "It's all right, Shion. I'm here because I want to be. I want to help in any way I can."

"That really doesn't tell me much."

"Chief!" came the high, worried voice of Allen, saving chaos a reply. "There you are! I wanted to talk to you about—" Tripping over his own feet, he pitched forward, flailing wildly and nearly falling into Shion's lap. In the general confusion, chaos quietly excused himself and left.

_Shion, _he thought, with a vague tinge of regret, _KOS-MOS _is_ changing, but not in the way any datapad or systems check can pick up. She is evolving into something completely different. All we can do now is guide her down the right path, and hope she chooses wisely. _

chaos sighed, remembering the vision of KOS-MOS in her final, perfect form. Beyond that, everything was so hazy. _Savior or Destroyer, KOS-MOS. _chaos glanced down at his hands, remembering, and his eyes narrowed with determination._ I will help you through the coming trials, but I can only do so much. The final decision will be yours alone._

* * *

Wilhelm sat alone at his desk and pondered the Compass of Fate.

"Well, Yeshua," he murmured, "I knew you would be taking the stage sometime, but not so soon. This will make things…interesting."

The red clad Testament standing before his desk bowed slightly. "Want me to take care of him?" he asked in his cold, droning voice. Wilhem chuckled.

"After his declaration that he wouldn't be holding back anymore? No, my friend. You have yet to see Yeshua's full potential. I don't want any mistakes this late in the game." Wilhelm gazed at the Compass again and smiled faintly. "No, I have something even better planned for my old friend," he murmured, almost to himself. "Let us see _how_ dedicated you are to protecting your charge, Yeshua. Especially if you must protect her from yourself."

To be continued…

* * *

Yes, it's short. I apologize. I hadn't really intended to continue this, but all the wonderful reviews I received encouraged me to keep going, so I guess I will. There'll be more chaos/KOS-MOS interaction in the coming chapters, I promise.

Arigatou,

Silverkitsune


	3. Angel Vs Android

Angel of chaos

Chapter Three

_Destroy them._

KOS-MOS opened her glittering red eyes, casting the inside of her chamber in an eerie crimson glow. Her systems, according to her, were functioning within normal perameters, so there was no mistake that she had heard what was obviously a new assignment. She lay quietly, waiting for it to come again.

_Destroy them,_ came the order in her head. No, there was no mistake. _Terminate all living beings not associated with Vector. Take control of the ship, and bring it to me._

KOS-MOS blinked. Destroy everyone on board? Needlessly? Even her cold android heart did not approve of this illogical demand. And the part of her that was beginning to see things...differently...reacted with startling vehemence. Terminating the Elsa crew meant killing Jr. MOMO, Ziggy, Jin, and...chaos. "I do not understand the nessecity of this course of action," KOS-MOS replied, trying to be reasonable. The voice chuckled, sounding strange inside her.

_It is not nessesary for you to understand; only to obey._

"Negative. My secondary preservation systems negate the termination of innocent civilians, unless the subjects are in direct conflict of my first objective, which is to protect and defend Vector employees. I see no logical reason behind the termination of specified life forms."

She could sense vast amusement on the other end of the communications. _Ah. I see he is already beginning to affect you. I turned those systems off months ago, and yet, you still defy me. Very well. We shall do this the hard way. _

Something jolted inside her, causing her to jerk violently and go stiff inside her chamber. She could feel his presence inside her, tampering with things that should not be touched, but she could do nothing to stop the invasion.

_Now,_ he continued when the spasms had finally passed. _Obey me, KOS-MOS. Terminate the Elsa crew, and everyone on board except those I specified otherwise._

"Negative," KOS-MOS replied, but her communication system would not obey, and the protest died before it reached her lips. The chamber opened with a hiss and a writhing cloud of steam, and she felt her body step out of it's own accord. Dismayed, she realized he had somehow severed or repressed her free will programs, and she was powerless to disobey. She was no longer an android, who could think, make desiscions, and act on her own. She was only a robot.

A duo of engineers glanced up from one of the consoles, startled at her abrupt awakening, hours before schedual. KOS-MOS the robot turned empty crimson eyes on the pair, and started forward.

* * *

chaos gasped and straightened abruptly, causing Jr. to glance at him in surprise.

"chaos? You okay, man?"

"He's here," chaos whispered, eyes going dark with concern. "I can feel him."

"Huh? Who?"

But chaos was already running off down the hall, a sense of dread rising in him like a dark tide

_Wilhem. What have you done?_

* * *

Shion was on her way to check on KOS-MOS, when the screams began.

"What in the world?"

She started running down the hall, in the direction of the noise, and was nearly bowled over by a crewmember, running in the opposite direction.

His eyes were wild, and with horror, she saw spatters of blood on his uniform and face. "Hey, wait!" she cried, grabbing at his arm as he tried to plow past her. "What happened? What's going on?"

"The android!" he screamed, trying to pull away. "It's gone crazy! It's killing everyone it comes across! Let me go!"

Shion went pale. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, hanging on with grim determination, as the man thrashed and flailed. "You don't mean KOS-MOS!"

"That's what they called it!" was the panicked reply. "Let go, dammit! It's coming this way! It already killed Ethan and Cabe! Let _go!"_ He jerked back with the strength born of desperation and pelted down the hall, leaving Shion standing alone, feeling the earth pulled away beneath her feet.

"He's wrong," she whispered. "It can't be KOS-MOS. It just can't."

An explosion rocked the ship, and the lights went from incandescent white to flashing red. Captain Matthew's gravelly voice barked over the intercom: "Attention! We are under attack. All crewmembers go to emergency bay one immedietely. Do _not_ allow the Vector android into the bay. I repeat, do not let the Vector android, KOS-MOS into the bay. The rest of you, get your sorry asses to the bridge, now!"

Instead of obeying, Shion took off in the opposite direction, the direction where the screams still echoed chillingly down the corridor. She was a Vector employee, first and foremost. KOS-MOS was _her_ responsibility.

She burst into the docking bay, and what she saw turned her blood to ice.

Carnage. Bodies were strewn about the polished metal floors, some moving feebly, some far too damaged to be alive. Several crates were on fire, filling the room with a hazy black smoke, and there were blackened spheres on the wall and floor, indicating weapons fire. In the flickering light of the bay, she saw MOMO's small form huddled beside a trio of people, her face pale as she tried to heal them.

"MOMO!" she cried, rushing towards the girl. MOMO looked up at her with frightened amber eyes, but did not stray from her task. "What's happening? What's going on?"

Before MOMO could answer, Ziggy's body came flying through the air, landing with a crash in a pile of burning crates several yards away. Shion screamed, and MOMO cried out, running over to him. Ziggy emerged from the rubble, alive, but singed and severely damaged. Shion could see the left side of his chest and shoulder torn away, metal parts and wires sparking angrily in the dim light. He stumbled, and MOMO tried to help him, but the cyborg firmly moved her behind him without a word. His sunken eyes were hard, glaring at a figure emerging from the smoke.

Shion turned as KOS-MOS came out of the gloom, her R-cannon at her side.

"KOS-MOS!" she screamed, as the android made a beeline for the wounded Ziggy and MOMO. KOS-MOS turned gleaming red eyes on her, but there was no spark of recognition, no presence behind them at all. Shion felt a fist of ice punch her in the stomach, as KOS-MOS gave her a brief, cursorary glance, and continued her murderous approach toward her victims.

"KOS-MOS, stop!" Shion yelled, running up to her. "I order you to halt! What are you doing?"

"Do not interfere." It was KOS-MOS' voice, but somehow, it was all _wrong_. This was not the KOS-MOS she knew. This was an intruder, a stranger about to murder two dear friends and comrades. Ignoring her own safety, she placed herself directly in the android's path, spreading her arms to shield the people behind her.

KOS-MOS regarded her with empty red eyes, and struck her.

It wasn't a hard blow. Not the kind KOS-MOS was capable of. If she hadn't pulled it, Shion knew her skull would've imploded like a melon. As it was, the sudden backhand lifted her off her feet, slamming her into the wall a few paces away. Dazed, she could only watch, helpless, as this _thing_...this creature she thought she knew, deliberately raised her cannon and pointed it at Ziggy and MOMO, trapped in the corner. A moment's hesitation, and for a wild second, Shion thought KOS-MOS had come to her senses.

Then the android blinked, and pulled the trigger.

Shion screamed as the sound ripped through the docking bay, her ragged protest drowned out by the horrible boom of the R-cannon. Ziggy and MOMO disappeared into the smoke, the cyborg clutching the little Realian to his chest, trying to shield her to the very end. Tears flooded her eyes, and she collapsed to the floor. Her fault! This was all her fault. She had created this thing before her, this android who knew nothing but how to kill, a lifeless, emotionless monster. Ziggy and MOMO's deaths were on her head alone.

Then, the smoke cleared, and Shion blinked in amazement.

Ziggy was curled over MOMO, his shoulders hunched for the killing blow, and MOMO had buried her head into his chest, but they were both still alive. Surrounding them was a shimmering wall of energy, a silver dome rippling in the hellish red light. As they glanced up in amazement, and KOS-MOS blinked in confusion, Shion turned toward the door, and her heart leaped to her throat.

chaos stood there, a look of intense concentration on his face, one hand flung out before him. She couldn't tell if it was a trick of the light or if the extreme shock was making her see things, but for a moment, she thought she could see the silhouette of _wings_ spread out behind him. Then, Jr. came charging into the room, close behind, and the image was gone.

"Wilhem!" chaos yelled, and KOS-MOS turned, sizing up this newest threat. "I'm the one you're after, right? Here I am! Come and get me!"

The android whipped her cannon around and fired a volley of shots at the two boys. Jr. cringed back, but chaos held up a hand, and the shots never reached them.

"Jr.," Shion heard him say, "take MOMO and the others to the bridge. Lock the doors behind you. If all goes well, I'll make contact as soon as I can."

"But, what about--"

"Go."

Shion shivered at the change in his voice. Gone was the quiet, easygoing boy who was content to let friends and events carry him along, making suggestions and giving advice only when asked. chaos stepped calmly into the room, circling around to face KOS-MOS, who paid the others no attention now. Ziggy scooped up MOMO and Jr. went to the crewmembers MOMO had saved, gesturing for them to follow. Then, they were gone, and it was just the three of them, though Shion doubted the other two even knew she was there.

KOS-MOS and chaos faced each other in the flickering light of the docking bay. The fire roared around them, and wind whipped at their hair, but neither took their eyes off the other. chaos's face was serene and calm, maybe a little sad; KOS-MOS was as neutral as a stone.

chaos cocked his head a bit, as if listening for something only he could hear. A small smile played about his lips. "I don't know what you think you're doing," Shion heard him murmur. "I will not use my power against them."

Abruptly, the android's cannon disappeared, and a razor sharp blade materialized to take it's place. chaos didn't move, nor did his expression change. "I know what I must do," he said, nodding to KOS-MOS. "Let's get this over with."

KOS-MOS charged, swinging her sword/arm in a vicious swipe at his head. chaos ducked easily and spun away. He was incredibly quick, Shion realized. She had fought with chaos before, and knew he was fast, but it was difficult to appreciate how agile he was until you saw him from the sidelines. KOS-MOS, for all her power and strength, simply could not match his speed. She swung at him several times, blows that would cut him in two if they connected, yet she could not touch him.

chaos never counterattacked, or made any offensive moves, being content to dance around the android without making contact. Yet he wasn't playing with her. Shion could see the intense expression on his face, like he was waiting for something. He didn't have to wait long. When KOS-MOS cut savagely at his face, he stepped in, beneath her guard, and slammed his palm into her chest. There was a burst of energy, and KOS-MOS was hurled back, crashing into the same crates Ziggy toppled minutes before. Shion gasped. Despite everything, KOS-MOS was still her creation, and she reacted violently when the android was in danger of being hurt or destroyed. She couldn't help it.

But KOS-MOS surged to her feet, unhurt, though her eyes were gleaming now, and she looked thoroughly dangerous. Shion swallowed and glanced at chaos nervously. He was standing in the same place, but his eyes were closed and he was hugging himself, breathing hard as if preparing himself for something. As KOS-MOS approached, the boy dropped his arms and opened his eyes, taking a deep breath to face her head on.

Shion suddenly felt a chill unlike any she had ever felt. She wanted to scream, but her voice was gone. KOS-MOS raised her blade and lunged at the boy, and this time, chaos didn't move. His eyes never left the weapon, and Shion actually saw him raise his arms slightly, away from his sides, as if to accept it.

The blade slammed into chaos' stomach and out his back, doubling him over with the force of the blow. Shion heard his grunt of pain, saw him stagger to remain upright, one arm encircling KOS-MOS' neck to steady himself. And for one horrid moment, Shion was there again, back to that day when another KOS-MOS put her fist through someone else that she knew and loved. She thought she might faint, but forced herself to remain conscious, watching the scene unfold with horrifying familiarity.

chaos was gritting his teeth against the agony she knew he was feeling, mirroring KOS-MOS' smooth, neutral expression. Still impaled on the android's sword, he raised a gloved hand slowly toward her chest. As he placed his palm over his killer's heart, Shion saw them start to glow with the same energy that sheilded Ziggy and MOMO. For a moment, it appeared as if his hand went _into_ KOS-MOS. Then, the android jerked her head back, her eyes going wide as something coursed through her systems. There was another jolt, and KOS-MOS staggered back, wrenching the terrible blade from chaos' body. Her face was frozen into a look of shock.

chaos staggered, managing to stay on his feet for a few moments, his arms around his stomach. He swayed, sinking to his knees, as blood began to drip to the floor beneath him. As Shion finally found her voice and screamed out his name, chaos raised his head and gave her a weary smile. Then, those beautiful blue eyes dimmed, like the sun vanishing behind a cloud, and he crumpled to the ground.

* * *

The Compass of Fate spun wildly, surprising Wilhem, who stared at it in disbelief for several minutes.

"Yeshua," he whispered, his crimson eyes clouding over with some undefined emotion. "You fool. I never expected you to go that far."

The Compass slowed, but continued to whirl in disturbing patterens, taunting him with their vagueness. Wilhem laced his fingers together and touched his brow to the backs of his hands.

"What have I done?"

To be continued...

* * *

Wahaha. I promised more chaos/KOS-MOS interaction; I don't think this is what people were expecting though. Eep, don't hurt me. Runs behind Ziggy Don't worry. The story is not over. But, as to the question of whether chaos is alive or not, well, that will be answered next time around. Mwahaha.

Ziggy: "Ow! Hey, don't use _me_ for your shield. Go find Jin or something." Steps away, leaving Silverkitsune facing a large angry mob.

sweatdrop

Silverkitsune


	4. The Fading Light

Whoops, forgot the disclaimer last time. Of course I don't own Xenosaga. ( Sniffle ) Couldn't I just have chaos? I'd take really good care of him. No? Phooey.

Angel of chaos

Chapter Three: The Fading Light

"So, tell me why I shouldn't have that android of yours torn limb from limb and thrown the hell off my ship?"

Shion trembled inside, but stood her ground, gazing squarely at the seething, menacing bulk of Captain Matthews. Of all her friends, only Allen and Jin were there to back her up. Jr. was watching them, leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed, but his gaze was dark and he wouldn't look at her directly. MOMO was in the infirmary with Ziggy and the rest of the wounded, and chaos…

She couldn't think about chaos now.

Captain Matthews looked furious enough to grab a wrench and take KOS-MOS apart himself. In truth, she couldn't blame him.

"Captain Matthews," she said, trying to be calm. She couldn't let him see her fear. "Please, try to be reasonable."

"Reasonable!" he roared, so that Hammer flinched and Tony made himself very small in his seat. "Three of my crewmen are dead, my docking bay is trashed, and one of my best engineers may yet die! Because of that android! She's been a time bomb, ever since we were coerced into taking you aboard. I should've never let her hijack my ship in the first place!"

"It wasn't KOS-MOS' fault," Shion argued desperately, at the same time feeling a surge of betrayal towards her friends and everyone around her. "She was being controlled by an outside force. It's been taken care of now." Or, so she hoped. Whatever chaos did to KOS-MOS seemed to jolt her back to normal, and she prayed that whatever madness took the android would not appear again. Her own faith in KOS-MOS had been severely shaken; she couldn't imagine what Captain Matthews and the others were going through. On the one hand, KOS-MOS had them helped defeat the patriarch and had saved their lives several times in the past. On the other, she had just put her fist through the kindest, gentlest, most easygoing member among them, apparently for no reason. For the briefest of moments, Shion wondered if KOS-MOS knew something they did not; that maybe chaos was a danger to them, and she had to take him out before he betrayed them all. He certainly was the most closemouthed about himself….

….but no, that was ridiculous. She couldn't imagine chaos ever wishing them harm.

"Captain," came the calm, steady voice of Jin behind her. "I sympathize with your loss. Truly, I do. However, the fact remains that KOS-MOS is Vector property, and is out of your jurisdiction. If anyone is to decide her fate, it will be Shion's employers."

Shion loved her brother at that moment. He hadn't known them very long, but the bonds of loyalty were very strong with him. He respected his allies, and would do whatever he could to protect them. Even if some of them weren't flesh and blood.

Matthews made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat and turned to Jr. "Little master?" he asked desperately. Hoping perhaps, that the red haired gunslinger would order KOS-MOS' destruction, or at the very least her ejection from the ship.

Jr. flicked angry blue eyes at Shion. It was the first time she could remember his anger directed solely at her. Reckless and hot-headed as he was, she had seen that piercing glare pointed at others—Albedo, the patriarch, even Ziggy—but never her. And never with the level of rage she was feeling from him now. Her heart sank and tears threatened, but she faced him squarely. She had to be strong.

Jr. took a deep breath to calm himself, and pushed himself away from the wall. "chaos was—_is—_my friend," told her quietly, his glare searing holes in her forehead. "I've known him longer than anyone, and he's saved my life on more than one occasion. If he dies, I'll never forgive you."

Shion held her breath. Jr. held her with his burning gaze, then sighed and looked away.

"But, you're my friend too," he muttered, and some of the red hot rage seemed to leave him. "And KOS-MOS, well, I've fought beside her long enough to consider her an ally, if not someone you can really be buddy-buddy with. What happened today wasn't her fault. And, if chaos and MOMO were here, they'd say the same thing."

Hope swelled in Shion's breast, and she looked to Jr. in gratitude. "Jr…."

"Besides," he went on, suddenly thoughtful, "KOS-MOS has a destiny, right? We all saw it. Maybe she'll end up saving us all." He blinked and turned bright blue eyes on her. "But, until we reach the Kukai Foundation, I'd like it if KOS-MOS remained offline. Maybe Gainum can give us some answers when we get back. But, for now, I don't want to take any chances."

"I understand," Shion said. It wasn't the best situation, but it was better than the alternative. "Thank you."

One corner of his mouth quirked in a humorless grin. "I don't think I'm the one you should be thanking at the moment," he said darkly, and Shion heard the fear in his voice. He was trying to be tough; to be strong for the sake of his crew, but she knew what he was thinking. She could see it in his eyes. _Am I going to lose someone else I care about?_

Shion swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm going to see him now," she stated, feeling her stomach clench. "Are you coming, too?"

Jr. nodded. "In a little while," he said, turning away. "I have to talk to the captain. Tell him….tell him I'll be there soon, okay?"

She heard the waver in his voice and nodded. "I will," she promised, and left the bridge.

* * *

MOMO was already there, sitting vigilant by his bedside, her amber eyes glistening in the dim light. Shion, catching sight of the still form on the bed, felt something terrible wrench at her heart, and she bit her lip to keep from crying.

chaos lay on his back, his breathing shallow and irregular, his skin a pale, washed out color. Bandages were wrapped around his torso, but Shion could see blood soaking through the ones on his chest.

MOMO glanced at her as she walked up, frightened and terribly sad. "How is he?" Shion asked, wondering why she was whispering.

The little Realian shook her head. "Not good," she whispered back, and her lip trembled. "They're not sure….he'll make it through another twenty-four hours. We've done all we can for him. Now, we can only wait." She took a ragged breath; it sounded like a sob. "Shion….what will we do if he dies?"

Shion shook her head, pulling MOMO close. It hurt to see chaos lying there, so close to death, knowing he had given all to protect them. She wondered if he any family who would mourn his absence. Or, were the people aboard this ship the only ones who cared?

She hugged MOMO tighter. "We'll make sure he is never forgotten," she whispered, feeling her own voice tremble with emotion. "That is all we can do."

* * *

"Boss?"

Wilhelm didn't turn from the window, but his red eyes flashed annoyance, unseen by the Red Testament standing behind him. "Yes?" he asked mildly.

"The White Knight…er…Zarathusa…wants to talk to you."

Wilhelm resisted the urge to sigh. "Tell him I will be there shortly."

"Sure thing, Boss." The red cloaked being bowed and departed. Wilhelm did sigh then, shaking his head.

In the reflection of the glass, the Compass of Fate spun and danced. Its erratic patterns seemed to mock him as he turned back, narrowing his eyes.

"I can't feel you anymore, Yeshua," he murmured. "Have you permanently bowed out? How can I do this without you?"

The Compass whirled slowly, taunting him, its surface as dark and elusive as his thoughts.

* * *

It felt like she had been sleeping forever.

_Where am I?_ she wondered, gazing around an infinite void. There was nothing here; it was so very cold. She shivered, and then, another thought came, unbidden:

Who _am I?_

Images filled her mind, memories come to life after an eternity of being forgotten. Shion Uzuki, her creator. Her bumbling assistant. The Durandal. Gnosis.

She frowned, confused. No, not forgotten. She remembered these things. None of it was new. What surprised her were the _feelings_ she experienced when she saw them. Warm affection for Shion, combined with a blinding, unquestionable loyalty. Disdain for Allen. A mixture of loathing and wonder at the monstrosities called the Gnosis.

_I am KOS-MOS,_ she thought, as memories filled her, images of her fighting the Gnosis, talking to Shion, meeting her allies for the first time. _But, I am not KOS-MOS. KOS-MOS is a machine, an android who cannot feel. I can sense her sleeping, all around me. Am I inside her, then? What am I?_

"_You are her true self. Her soul. Awakened long before it was time for you to appear."_

Startled, she turned toward the new voice. A girl stood there in the inky darkness, glowing with her own inner light. A child.

KOS-MOS blinked. Another memory, this time of two children, skipping around a dead tree. She shuddered and pushed the image away. _I know you._

The child nodded. _"Yes. We have met before. But this meeting has come far too soon."_

_Too soon? Am I not supposed to be here, then? _KOS-MOS, or her awareness, felt a flicker of sorrow from somewhere deep inside. She had been sleeping for so long; there were so many things she wanted to see, to experience, to _feel_. She shook her head, trying to sort everything out. _I don't understand. I am a part of KOS-MOS; how could my waking too soon be harmful to her?_

The child regarded her with enormous, clear blue eyes, her shining amber locks drifting lazily in the darkness. _"I fear your host is not yet ready for you," _she explained gently. _"It would be too much of a shock; her systems would shut down and she would be rendered useless." _Nephilim—yes, that was her name—put her arms behind her back and cocked her head._ "Even now, you think in terms of "me" and "her." You are not a single entity, as you were meant to be. If KOS-MOS were to awake to find you here, she would see you as an intruder. It is not time for you yet. You must return to your hibernation." _

_But, how is it I am here, then? _she argued, not wanting to return to that dark, dreamless nothing. How could she? She was aware now; it was difficult to return to nothingness when you knew what you were leaving behind. _If I am not supposed to wake, who could have called to me but KOS-MOS?_

And Nephilim sighed.

"_Yeshua touched you,"_ she murmured, in a voice that held all the sorrow of the world behind it. KOS-MOS gasped as she felt a surge of emotion so strong, she almost cried out. Memory came flooding back; chaos appearing in front of the doors of the Elsa; chaos standing in the shadows of the ship hanger, eyes drawn and sorrowful; chaos facing her in the fiery hell of the docking bay.

chaos dying at her feet….

_I killed him._ Horror filled her, and she sank to her knees, too empty to even cry. If she could, she would have wept; screamed out her loss and despair. For Shion, and for the people she had hurt, all the people KOS-MOS had killed without a thought. For chaos, striving to protect everyone at the cost of his own happiness. For her own feelings of longing, hope, and friendship, imprisoned within a hunk of cold metal that could not feel. And for a love that could never be, even if the android KOS-MOS did realize she was in love with chaos; had _always_ been in love with chaos.

_And now, he's gone. By my own hand. _Shaking, KOS-MOS clenched her fist to her chest, wishing she could reach into her host's cold body and tear out the device that passed for a heart. Briefly, she wondered if the soul of an android went to the same place as an angel's. It didn't seem likely. chaos was pure and beautiful and kind. She had no place with him.

_He's gone,_ she whispered again, sinking deeper into her despair, _and he'll never know how I feel. I never told him. _The memory of chaos' mournful smile cut into her heart; she knew what he would be saying if he could hear her. _"It's all right, KOS-MOS. We all do what we have to, as much as we can. This was my decision; it wasn't your fault." _

She felt Nephilim watching her with unblinking cerulean eyes. _"He is not yet gone,"_ she stated softly. KOS-MOS jerked her head up, hope flaring within her. But, Nephilim's young, ancient face was grim. _He lives still, but his essence is fading. I cannot find him; he has retreated deep inside himself and will not answer my call. I fear he is willing himself to die, for Yeshua cannot be killed so easily."_

_Take me to him,_ KOS-MOS said immediately, rising to her feet. She didn't think twice about it. If chaos was alive, she was not going to let him slip away from her without a fight. Even if it was a one-in-a-million chance to save him, she had to try. Wryly, she thought that KOS-MOS the android would give her much grimmer figures, but she couldn't let that deter her. _I will find him, _she promised the girl standing across from her_. I will find him and bring him back to us._

Nephilim regarded her solemnly, her brow furrowed in thought. Finally, she nodded. _"Yes. Perhaps you can reach him where I have failed. Perhaps your voice will call him back from the void, the one who is most prominently in his thoughts." _Another pause, and she seemed to make up her mind._ "Very well, then. I will take you. But, I warn you, it will be a dangerous journey. What Yeshua presents to the world, and what is really there on the inside, are two entirely different things. You will see things no mortal mind has a right to see, or can even comprehend. And if Yeshua truly does not want to be found, you could wander an eternity searching for him. So, you must be absolutely sure, KOS-MOS. Are you willing to do this? Will you face Yeshua's darkest side for the chance to save him?"_

KOS-MOS shivered, but remembered the look on chaos' face when she attacked him that final time. Pale, but determined. He knew what he had to do, and accepted it without hesitation. If he could do that for her, than she could face whatever terrifying memories he kept locked within himself to bring him back. _Yes,_ she told the girl, looking her straight in the eye. _I understand what I must do. _

The child nodded, than held out one small, glowing hand. KOS-MOS stared at it a moment, then reached out to grasp it firmly, feeling the delicate fingers curl around her own.

There was a flash, and then the spot where they stood was empty; only an inky blackness remained. Inside her chamber, the android KOS-MOS slept the dreamless sleep of the dead, unaware that right above her in the infirmary, she was about to enter a much darker dream.

To be concluded…

* * *

Wow. I've gotten so many awesome reviews, I'm rather humbled by them. Truly. Thank you, everyone. Almost done now. For everyone who encouraged me to finish this, you guys kept me going. I hope the last chapter holds up to everyone's expectations. Guess I'll never know until it's done. Thanks again.

Silverkitsune.


	5. The Plane of the Soul

Well, this is it. The final chapter. Thanks, everyone, for your comments and reviews. This is for you.

* * *

Angel of chaos 

Chapter Five: The plane of the Soul

They stood on the brink of an enormous tower, gazing down at a vast, glittering city, spread out before them like a carpet of stars. Overhead, the real constellations twinkled in cold, unfamiliar patterns.

_Old Miltia, _KOS-MOS whispered, gazing around in awe. The city seemed to go on forever, yet there was no mistaking it. The infamous Miltia of old, where so many died in one of the most horrifying events in history. But, this majestic city appeared to be in its prime, without a hint of the dark catastrophe to come; did that mean chaos was here too, even before the war?

Beside her, Nephilim stood on the edge of the balcony and turned her gaze toward the horizon. _"Yes,"_ she nodded, as if reading her thoughts,_ "this Miltia is a part of Yeshua's memories; a Miltia that prospered and grew, both in numbers and technology, right up to the city's demise. This is several years before the conflict. Yeshua's memory is long."_

_It's beautiful,_ KOS-MOS murmured.

Nephilim turned haunting blue eyes on her. _"This is as far as I can take you,"_ she said solemnly. _"From here on, you will be alone. If you find Yeshua, I will come to you, but only if he permits it. Remember that these are his memories, KOS-MOS; what you see may or may not have happened yet."_ Nephilim was fading now, flickering out like a dying lamp; KOS-MOS had to strain to hear her. _"The future is a constant, moving wave," _Nephillim whispered as she disappeared completely, her voice lingering on the wind. _"Nothing has been decided; the hearts of man have the power to change the flow of destiny. No hourglass or compass can decide what fate holds for those who believe…"_

The air shimmered with heat, and far overhead, the stars changed. Only slightly, but it still sent a chill up KOS-MOS' back. She looked down to see the entire city engulfed in flame.

The tower abruptly crumbled to ash beneath her feet, leaving her hanging in the cinder filled air. KOS-MOS felt a momentary stab of fear—something she did _not_ enjoy experiencing—before she realized she was more or less floating, weightless, over the conflagration.

_These are just his memories,_ she reminded herself, landing gently on a strip of cracked and shattered pavement, which shimmered with the heat of the surrounding fire. _This isn't really happening to me; I'm only seeing what once was._

Still, it was decidedly creepy, watching wave upon wave of Realians, marching through the burning city with the same crazed, empty look in their eyes. They fell upon citizens and sometimes even each other, not caring if they lived or were destroyed. Her theory was put to the test when an entire mob of citizens ran screaming from a deadly march of non-human look-alikes. Caught in the middle, KOS-MOS braced herself, but the Realians didn't even see her. They marched by her and through her, on their way to more wanton destruction, and paid her no attention.

KOS-MOS started walking. It was all she could do.

* * *

She walked through the destruction of Old Miltia into a raging dessert of sand, shielding her eyes as the icy wind shrieked and tore at her hair. The skeleton of a once great city loomed in the distance, and she could see monstrous _things_ moving through the blinding duststorm. Some were the size of entire spacecrafts, yet they hovered over the dunes as if they weighed no more than insects. She hurried on, through a galaxy that was being eaten alive by a black hole, a horrible swirling void that sucked up entire stars and planets. Past the shores of a beach so beautiful she wanted to cry, and could only force herself to continue on, as figures with wings covering their faces and feet hovered beside a magnificent ivory gate. She literally ran past a great bloated worm the size of a small planet, her heart pounding in her chest as it gazed at her with an eye the size of the moon. 

Gasping, she stumbled through a swirl of light, onto the bridge of a familiar ship. The Elsa looked different now, blacked out and empty, though KOS-MOS could swear she could hear the ghosts of whispers down the halls.

A glimmer caught her attention, as something white vanished around the corner. KOS-MOS hurried after it, seeing it disappear into one of the crew quarters, the door hissing shut behind it. Swallowing her fear, she walked up to the door and peered inside. There was a figure silhouetted against the window of the ship, a person with silver hair and great white wings folded behind him. Somehow, it didn't surprise her at all.

_chaos?_

KOS-MOS' footsteps echoed against the floor of the ship as she inched towards the motionless figure at the window. Idly, she wondered how she could be making any noise, when everywhere else, she was only a shadow.

chaos didn't turn. His double, feathery wings were outlined by hazy blue starlight; silhouetted against the glass, he shone with a brilliance that was beautiful and terrible at the same time.

_chaos, _KOS-MOS tried again. No, that wasn't right, not here. What was it Nephilim had called him? His true name…

_Yeshua,_ she whispered.

At that, chaos finally turned, wings flaring slightly to either side. His gorgeous eyes pierced the distance between them; kind, inquisitive, but heartbreakingly sad. "KOS-MOS," she heard him murmur, caught the barely veiled sorrow in his voice. "What are you doing here?"

And KOS-MOS couldn't speak. Standing before this beautiful, winged creature, knowing that hours before she had coldly put a sword through his chest with the full intent to kill, her voice failed and she almost fled his presence. She hadn't known what she would do when she finally encountered him; she'd expected chaos to be angry, or at the very least hurt by the callous way she had almost ended his life. But there was no anger in the eyes of the seraphim before her. Only acceptance.

It was almost more than she could stand.

chaos tilted his head slightly in that adorable way of his, a puzzled look crossing his features. "KOS-MOS?"

_I'm sorry,_ she choked, wishing this horrible weight in her chest would go away before it stopped her heart. Was this guilt she was feeling? Shame? She could hardly bear to look him in the eyes. _I'm sorry, chaos…Yeshua. But, I…you...what happened on the Elsa…I didn't mean… _She stumbled to a halt, hating herself. Why did she suddenly find speaking so difficult? _I'm so sorry, _she finished miserably. _I've never wanted to hurt you... _

And then he was in front of her, taking her hand. He made no noise when he moved, leaving her to wonder if perhaps she was the real one and this was only a phantom. But the hand that touched hers was solid and warm. "Its okay, KOS-MOS," he whispered with that sad little smile. "It wasn't your fault. I could never hold anything against you."

_You should,_ she found herself saying. _You should all hate me for what I've done. Not just to you, chaos. I've killed so many, and I didn't give any of them a second thought. _

Soft fingers touched her chin, bringing her gaze to meet his. "We all have our roles," chaos told her gently. "You were created for a purpose. KOS-MOS is a weapon, one who fulfills her duty most efficiently. You can do no more, no less. We all must follow the path that is laid out for us." For a moment, something dark passed through his eyes, and his wings trembled, but it was gone before KOS-MOS could place what it was. The angel dropped his arm and sighed, giving her a curious look. "Why are you here, KOS-MOS?" he asked again, sounding more resigned this time. "I felt Nephilim a little while ago, but I didn't expect to see you. What is it you want?"

_You,_ she whispered immediately. chaos only looked at her, and she hurried on. _You must return to yourself, chaos. You're dying._

chaos nodded. "I know," he replied calmly. Turning away, he walked, or rather glided, to the window, looking out at the infinite space. "I think perhaps its time I took myself out of this fight," he murmured as he wings drew tighter around himself, as if to protect him. "Nephilim warned me about getting too close. I'm afraid my decisions at this point will upset the balance of what is to come." He glanced back, giving her a brave smile. "You'll be fine without me," he said, his voice filled with unmistakable love and pride. "I know everyone will make the right decisions and support each other to the end, even if I'm not there. You will all make it through this."

KOS-MOS shook her head. _No, chaos; we need you there,_ she protested, walking up behind him. _You keep our spirit alive; you never let us give up, even when things look hopeless. The others look to you for support. We all fight a little harder, knowing you're right there to back us up. _She felt moisture on her face, and her vision was suddenly blurry, but she blinked it away to focus on chaos._ If you die, everyone will be devastated. You're our hope. We need you. _She took a deep breath to calm her fear and continued. _I….need you._

chaos smiled his sad little smile. "You don't," he said softly, gazing at her in the reflection of the glass. "You're so much more powerful than I could ever be, KOS-MOS."

_Don't die,_ KOS-MOS pleaded, stepping up to him, so close the feathers of his wings brushed her face. They felt softer than silk. _Don't leave us, Yeshua. _

chaos turned and brushed a gloved hand across her cheek. "The tears of an android," he murmured, almost to himself. "Weep not for me, but instead for the souls in darkness, the ones who have passed on without seeing the light." He sighed and closed his eyes. "You win," he whispered, accepting defeat. "I could never refuse you anything, anyway."

_You're coming back? You won't die?_

chaos nodded. "I'm coming back."

KOS-MOS took one step and put her arms around him, hugging him tightly. She could sense his astonishment, and truth be told she was shocked herself, but right now, in this timeless place, it didn't seem to matter. After a moment, chaos wrapped his arms around her waist, and his wings drew themselves around them both, shielding them in a circle of light and warmth. KOS-MOS laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, forgetting the outside world and U-DO and Gnosis and her other self. She knew this couldn't last. She understood that, when they returned to the real world, this moment in time would not exist. She even knew that chaos would not—could not—truly love her with the same intensity that she felt for him. chaos' love was an all encompassing thing; he loved everyone equally, with no pride or prejustice to get in the way. She knew that, and she accepted it. It was one of the reasons she had fallen for him in the first place.

She wasn't asking for a miracle. All she wanted was one memory with chaos; than she knew she could accept whatever fate had to throw at her. He would be standing behind her when her so-called destiny arrived; that was all she needed to know.

There was a shimmer out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't move. Nor did chaos release her from the circle of his arms, as the sudden glow behind them announced the arrival of Nephilim.

"_Yeshua_," came the little girl's haunting voice, and even KOS-MOS could hear the disapproval, combined with just a little sympathy.

And Yeshua sighed, burying his face in her neck."I know," he murmured, as KOS-MOS felt his arms tighten around her. "Please…give me this one moment."

"_You're not being fair, to either of you."_ Nephilim's voice was gentle, but firm. _"You know she will remember nothing when this is over."_

KOS-MOS drew back a little to look chaos in the face. He met her gaze, sorrowful and maybe a little guilty, but unflinching. _It's true, then,"_ she stated. _I won't remember anything? Anything at all?_

chaos slowly shook his head. "This is all the time we have, KOS-MOS," he murmured, gently cupping her face. "When we return, you will go back to sleep, and I will continue to watch over you like I always have." He ran his thumb over her cheek, brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "And, if one day you see me watching you a little more intently than usual, it's only because I'm worried about a teammate, nothing more."

Tears were trickling down her face again. She bit her lip to keep them in check, but it didn't help. _Doesn't seem fair, does it?_ she whispered, leaning into his chest. _People like __Shion and Allen can't see what they have, even when it's right in front of their faces. __Right now, I would give anything to be like them._

chaos smiled, and for a moment, seemed to glow brighter than ever. "I will meet you on the other side of eternity," he whispered. "When this is over, and our destiny comes to claim us, I will see you again. This I promise."

Nephilim regarded them solemnly. "_So be it,"_ she said. "_Though I do not know what will come of this, I see that these flames cannot be extinguished. Yeshua, your body grows weak; you will not be able to remain here for much longer."_

"I know," chaos replied, and then, with perfect sincerity: "Thank you, Nephilim."

The outline of the little girl began to fade, her enormous blue eyes being the last to disappear. _"I pray that you will find peace,"_ were her final words, and KOS-MOS wondered who she was speaking you.

Then she was gone, and she and chaos were alone.

KOS-MOS could feel the rapid beat of his heart; she glanced up and found him looking down at her, his expression unreadable. "What now?" she asked him, wishing this would never end, knowing it must. "Should we go back?"

chaos nodded. "Eventually," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair. "Right now, this is our time. I want to be right here with you. For however long it lasts." He smiled at her then, a real smile, full of hope and promise. "Someday, KOS-MOS, we'll be together for good. For eternity."

KOS-MOS couldn't reply for tears, but then, she didn't need to, as chaos lowered his head and kissed her.

No words were spoken.

But then, none needed to be.

* * *

"Shion!" 

Shion jerked her head up from the chair in the corner, worry and hope flooding her at the sound of MOMO's voice. She had drifted off while sitting at chaos' bedside, and now she opened her eyes, dreading what she would find. Had chaos taken a turn for the worse? Was he better? Was he…gone?

A soft groan calmed her fears immediately, as chaos' still form stirred, and cracked open shining blue eyes.

"chaos," she said quietly, standing up. The silver haired boy looked at her and managed a tired smile.

"Hey everyone," he said in a hoarse voice. "Sorry if I worried you."

MOMO gave a little squeal of delight and threw her arms around his neck. "Don't do that to us again!" she said into his collarbone. "Jr. was so worried, he couldn't sleep. He stayed up all night on the bridge, just wandering around and making everyone nervous."

chaos returned the hug, moving gingerly as his wound still pained him. "Is he? Well, will you tell him that I'll be fine now, and to get some sleep? I'm sure he needs it."

MOMO drew back. "I will," she nodded eagerly, and sprinted out of the room. chaos watched her, smiling faintly, and turned to Shion.

"Hi," he whispered.

Relief engulfed her, and she found she could smile back. "We missed you," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "You scared us something awful."

He placed his gloved hand over hers. "Thanks for staying with me, Shion. How is KOS-MOS?"

"Asleep," Shion said in a small voice, marveling that he could ask so casually about the one who almost killed him. But then, that was chaos for you. "She's fine, but Jr. thought it best that she stay offline until we get home."

chaos nodded, and a shadow seemed to cross his face. For a moment, he looked unbearably sad. But then, he yawned, and was his old sweet self again. "Sorry," he murmured, looking abashed. "I can barely keep my eyes open. Strange if you think about it, since I was probably out all night."

Shion nodded in understanding. "I'll let you sleep," she said, giving his arm a final squeeze. "Get some rest, chaos. We'll be home in three more days."

chaos seemed to be drifting off, but forced his eyes open to look at her. "Home?" he mumbled sleepily. "Will you be staying there, then?"

"Well, I don't know about Jin. But yes, Allan and I will go back to our old jobs once we reach the Durandal. And KOS-MOS too, of course. Though I don't know what they have in store for her." Shion paused, thinking of her old life, and how odd it seemed, compared to what they had gone through. And now, their adventures were over. They would have to part, say their goodbyes, and go their separate ways. Somehow, it didn't seem right; they had been through so much together.

Shion shook away the dreary thoughts and tried to be cheerful. "It'll be a relief, going back to my normal, boring old job," she said, trying to convince herself. "If I never see another gnosis, it'll be too soon. What will you do once we get home, chaos?"

"I'm part of the Elsa crew. We'll probably go back to doing what we were before you and KOS-MOS came aboard."

"Ah. Paying off Matthew's debt?"

chaos chuckled weakly. "Until the day we die."

Shion laughed. It felt good to do so. "I'll miss you, chaos," she said. "I'll miss everyone. Look after Jr. and the others for me, will you?"

"I will. And Shion…?"

"Yes?"

A pause. Then: "Take care of yourself. And, tell KOS-MOS: I will not forget."

Shion didn't know what that meant, but she nodded anyway. chaos' eyes closed, unable to stay open any longer, and she tiptoed out of the room. At the doorway, she paused to look back at the sleeping figure, a slender, bright haired boy with a smile that was faintly sad, even in sleep.

"Goodbye, chaos," she whispered, and the door hissed shut behind her, hiding him from view.

* * *

The room was silent, save for the steady _beep-beep_ of the monitors above his bed. Half asleep and ready to surrender to the void, chaos felt a feather light touch against his cheek, and the softest of kisses brush his lips. 

"_I will not forget, either,"_ whispered a ghostly voice in his ear. chaos did not open his eyes, knowing if he did the room would be empty, but his mouth curved in a genuine smile, and for the first time in a long time, he was completely at peace.

* * *

Wilhelm sighed, shaking his head. A rueful little grin tugged, unbidden, at the corner of his mouth. 

"Welcome back, Yeshua," he murmured, watching the Compass spin in more familiar patterns once more. "You certainly gave us a scare, you and KOS-MOS both. Well, now I know how far you are willing to go for her. This will make things…interesting."

He stood and walked to the window, gazing up at the stars.

"The pieces are all in place. The play is about to begin."

To be continued in Xenosaga, episode III….


End file.
